How was Shabi accepted to “Parpar Nechmad” (“Nice Butterfly”)?*
(Shabi is the one who’s telling this story)
In the beginning, I was a stinky sock, which was hanged on Dudu Zar’s foot until Dudu threw me on a newspaper-package, on the jobs section. There was a sign in there, which said: “Actors required for the new poor-budget show – Night Butterfly”. Well, I came to the audition. Of course I had hair those days, and eyes under the glasses either. I played so well, so the hired me. So, we started filming. Oh, I remember it, like it was today. Well, it was very difficult. Very difficult. We filmed a scene In Yehuda desert under difficult conditions. I pitied Dudu Zar that time. He was an unemployed guitarist. He insisted to stay at the set. The director pitied him and decided to add Dudu to the show. Oh, those were a terrible days. In 1967, we filmed a special show in the 6-day war. I got a stand-up scene in the show, in order to raise the mood. In 1972 we changed the show’s name to ‘fermenting Butterfly’ because of Dudu’s desire to bubbling drinks. And I also remember that sexy babe, Ofra Vyngervoch… no no no, Vyngerten. Yes! Ofra Vyngerten. She was dressing a mini, and I could see her… Then, after a year, we changed the show’s name to ‘A little bustard Butterfly’ because of Dudu’s desire to Ofra. NBC purchased few episode of our successful show in 3 dollars! We had to share the money equally, but because of Dudu’s desire to money, we changed the show’s name to ‘Greedy Butterfly’. Oh, this Dudu… A year after, dudu started to behave arrogantly. He started to call everyone in insulting nicknames: “you little snail!” “You little turtle”, “you little penguin!” Well, this was the last straw! Batz, Pingy and me got organized in a group, and in the evening, when Dudu went to his male-bimbo boyfriend – Sensual Dan, we attacked him with punches and kicks. Pingy was too excited, so he tear Dudu’s moustache out. Then, we heard the siren sound. Batz and me started to run away. But Pingy couldn’t escape. He was too heavy. The cops captured Pingy. He was shot in his head. Fortunately, he wasn’t hurt because the guy who activated him was a dwarf. In his trial, Pingy claimed that Dudu’s moustache was a fake one. He cried to the judge: “I swear, it was horse’s pubes hair which was attached to his body by carpenters-glue!” The judge supported Dudu Zar and sent Pingy to the jail, for 13 months + service jobs (Cleaning Joseph the stories-teller toilets. Joseph the stories-teller was a very huge stinky ugly man.) + Penalty of 7 Dollars. Pingy was too poor and couldn’t pay this great amount of money so he was forced to sell his penguin costume and his right kidney. His beak was tear out cruelly. Lots of jewelry were made from this beak and were sold for 20 cents (all the jewelry together.). Pingy was sent to a dungeon in “Kele Sheva” (Prison number 7). His mate was Effi Netzer (The public poetry champion and the whistle inventor.). Pingy bet Effi, who has higher IQ. Pingy lost, of course. Pingy was deep in debts. He decided to commit a suicide, but god didn’t let him die. He enjoyed watch him suffering. Pingy started smoking drugs. Effi was his drug source. Pingy was too poor. He couldn’t stand Effi’s bills, so he sold his fingers to Effi. After few days, Pingy became Effi’s boxing sack; Dudu Zar was hospitalized in a mentally ill institution. He refused to have a new moustache. In the place that the original moustache used to be, there was a tattoo:”666”. The doctors turn him to the police. They accused him of raping cats. He was sent to the dungeon again, but released by guarantee payment of 4 dollars. Pingy’s financial position was much more inferior. He stopped eating, because he hadn’t enough money. The costume lining was attached to his back. Effi Netzer wasn’t merciful either. He used to sink Pingy’s head in the toilet of Joseph – the stories-teller every time that Pingy couldn’t pay him and said: “Take it easy, you little nightingale, you’ll get the money tomorrow, I promise!” There were some days that Joseph wasn’t forgiver, and used to eat large beans more than he used to eat. The toilet’s cleaning became to a mission impossible. Effi Netzer used to make a public poetry shows in the nights including transparencies, to increase the morale. Pingy was the soloist, and every time he confused, Effi plugged Pingy’s resuscitation machine out for 5 minutes. Pingy became blind because there wasn’t enough oxygen delivered to his brain. Pingy could communicate with the environment only by moving his armpit hairs (or maybe it was just the wind). Pingy didn’t stopped talking, so Effi cut his armpit hairs aggressively and planted them in the flowerpot. In 1988, Pingy was released. Since he was 98% handicapped, he couldn’t move and the wind took him randomly. Step by a step, Pingy bought all his organs (the same organs he sold) back and attached them with a wire from his penguin costume. He was on his way to “Parpar Nechmad” (Nice butterfly) studios. In his way, he killed a bird and took her beak. He attached the beak to his body. The name of the show was changed to “nice butterfly” because Dudu Zar wasn’t performing there anymore, and the show became to a sane show. Pingy decided to have a brain-implantation surgery. Unfortunately, the brain rejected Pingy’s body, but Pingy kept functioning well without the a brain; In that time, Uzi Hitman was the main character in the show. I was a secondary character. I used to interview 3 years old kids. The stupid Uzi, I hated to do that. Uzi was a very strict guy. Discipline was one of the most important principles of Uzi. One day, I made mistake, so Uzi took his gun out and started to shoot randomly. Fortunately, he missed me but he hurt Nuli’s eye. Ofra was hurt too in the left breast. Ofra had a very difficult surgery, which ended with her death. Pingy insisted to operate her, but his stinky smell-gases choke her lungs and a dirty feather from Pingy's costume choke here vagina so she couldn’t breathe. Pingy managed to escape before the police arrived; One day, Uzi was sleeping deeply. Batz and me wanted to freak him out, so we took his guitar and crushed it on his head. Uzi cause stinking and woke up frightened. He started to shout: “Who did that? And what is this stinky smell? We both said: “Pingy!” Uzi stood and started to search for Pingy in the whole studio. At that time, Pingy came back to the studio, after the surgery, while his hands are full of blood. Uzi caught Pingy, jumped on him and cut his tail. Pingy was shocked. He got a period, splashed blood from his buttocks and slide on it. Suddenly, Dudu Zar has appeared. He had a new moustache, made from pork pubes-hair. He declared: “I’m back!” Pingy was rolling over him and both of them fell into a sewage channel. Pingy recognized a familiar smell. It was Joseph, the stories maker. Pingy whispered to Dudu Zar:” this is the fat one, from the jail”. Joseph heard that and said: “Who said ‘FAT’?” Dudu Zar pointed Pingy and Jospeh was merciless. He rolled over pingy and made him a flat rug. Pingy’s corpse stayed in the sewage; One month after, Nuli shouted: “hey, guys! Look what I’ve found. A penguin’s rug. It took me hours to clean the blood, sweat and shit stains!” It was Pingy. Mentioning Nuli, I recall one time, we put crocodiles-shit in her chicken-food. When she ate it, she ran away to the toilet and threw up. Then, her buttock was quite hot so she decided to take a shower. We sabotaged the pipes system and when Nuli opened the tap, she was burnt to the death. We took her body and ate it. One year after, Batz started to develop a rare turtles-disease. We threw him to the garbage. Eventually, somehow, he was putted in a pets-store. But the owner of the store didn’t like the turtle and poisoned him. Batz died on the next day. We threw his body to the ocean. This led to an extreme rate of fish’s death, so we threw him to an oil-tank, in the order of the city council. This is actually, how the Parpar Nehcmad (Nice Butterfly) group was dismantled. Uzi got cancer from over-watching Parpar Nehcmad (Nice Butterfly) episodes. We threw Uzi’s dead body to the ocean too. Now,only Dudu Zar and me survived. Now, we are running a new show called “Penis on the beach”.
*This text is taken from an article with Shabi in one of the israeli newspapers. As a result of this interview, this particular newspaper was closed.