Dudu the "Super-Moustache"
It was in the same time that Uza was hospitalized in a buttocks-itch's weaning
institution. Dudu started to get hot about everything he saw.
Even from an empty small bag. One day, Dudu offered me an offer I couldn't
refuse. He said that if I will masturbate for him, he will let me to fight
with grandpa Nachman when he will go to pray in the priestly benediction at
Friday. Since I didn't have hands, I used my mouth. I was sucking his penis
for hours. His sperm-liquid choked me. I fell down to the floor and started
to have convulsions. Dudu didn't even felt I sucked his dick. He started to
make voices of a horny cat. I was taken to an emergency room;
Well, Friday has arrived. Grandpa Nachman finished to eat his meal and went
out the building to the priestly benediction while there were pieces of rice
and hummus on his wide moustache, which covered a half of his face. Dudu told
me to charge grandpa Nachman. I held a knife in my mouth. I jumped on the old
pal and stabbed him right in his dangling neck. Grandpa Nachman started to fold
in himself and started to swallow sand. The fat Dudu Zar jumped on him. He
took his prison-uniform off. He was wearing costume of a WWF wrestler. Dudu
started to sing his famous song: "But I always remain myself". Dudu jumped
with an elbow-punch. He missed Grandpa Nachman because of his defective
eyesight. Near the "wrestling ring" there was a large audience. Everybody
thought that Dudu was a somo from the WCW. Dudu Zar liked the idea of being
a super-hero and decided to sew a special suit. He called to himself
"Super-Moustache". He broke into the warehouse of "Nice Butterfly Ltd."
And stole some objects. He made unusual weapons from those objects, like the
"Shmakmak Shmatzmetzet" and the "Mirvegg vehow eena" (if you're telling it in
the opposite order, you get a Hebrew phrase, which means, "I love males").
Of course, he didn't forget the vibrator-gun that makes you shaking. The
"Super-Moustache" suit was too tight. It was so tight, therefor there was
a big rift in the chest area and Dudu's curled chest-hair was exposed.
Dudu grabbed me in my neck and said loudly:
"you are going to be my assistant!". I agreed by force. Dudu added:
"I will be known as 'Super-Moustache' and you... you will be called
'louses-man'". Dudu gave me the following weapons: a prices-stick-machine,
asthma inhalation machine, stapling-machine, and capsules against pregnant.
In the next day, we went to the street, for petrol. Dudu jumped on an innocent
police officer and stole his noble phone. After that, he started to run
crudely. The police officer was running after him. Dudu was slow. His velocity
wasn't higher than 0.5 Km/h. He jumped over a wire-fence. A piece of his suit
was caught in the fence. Dudu continued running and this piece was tear. This
peace was covering the buttock area. Dudu's non-dried buttocks and his tail
were exposed. Dudu escaped to the "Nice Butterfly" warehouse. Since he
couldn't get a blue silk which will be fitted to his "Super-Moustache" suit,
he cut a piece of Ofra's red dress. I cut the red silk in a shape of a heart.
I attached it to the buttock area, to Dudu's skin (therefor, Dudu wasn't
able to take his silly suit off in the identification parade [which took place
a week after. Dudu was hit painfully there]). Dudu conclude about a new
word-code that we will use when we will want to send messages to each other
(something like "Ruth pass"). We decided about the phrase "I have"
(therefor, every time Dudu wanted to send me a message he had to say,
"I have louses-man" :-) ); The next morning has arrived. Dudu woke up
while his big toes are in his mouth.
He declared in a childish voice: "Well, we are going to our first mission".
We went down to the street. Dudu was the leader and I was walking after him.
While we were walking dudu told me he sewed this suit in order to be
camouflaged. What the hell was he talking about? All the people were
looking at him strangely. Suddenly, Dudu heard a message from the noble phone
(the same one he stole from the police officer). The voice from the noble
phone said that there are problems in the "Guys and Guys" club. Dudu
started to run like an infantile all over the street while I am running after
him. People from the street started to spit on him. The sluggish Dudu fell
about 17 times. Eventually, we got to the "Penis-World" club. The club owner
grabbed Dudu and told him with a tone of Yossi Sayas (an Israeli show host who
has a voice of a gay, not that there's anything wrong with that!!!) :
"hello, sweetheart, what about the dance you promised you'll perform?" .
Dudu was confused. He shouted: "What dance are you talking about?".
The club owner told: "Don't get smart on me, sweety, we invited a man who
looks exactly like you: with an exposed penis, wearing tight suit, exposed
chest and a protruding buttock with heart-shaped silk on it." Dudu was
thinking for 7 minutes and eventually said: "Am i paid for it?". The club
owner said: "of course you are, 50 dollars for this show!". Dudu was excited.
He jumped on the stage and started to sing:
"I was looking for a job in a garbage-mobile,
but everyone thought I was a jerk,
I always wanted to be IN
Then I stabbed the owner with a knife...
I was taken to a psychologit and I spent 9 years of my life at prison,
People used to fuck me in the ass" (the gay audience was anxious)
"my urine was squeezed out by force,
and I couldn't sit for two days, but...
I always remain myself,
I always remain poor,
I always remain romanic
But I always remain with myself
I always remain slow
I always remain E.T"
The club owner asked Dudu to sing more.
Dudu agreed and sang:
"Here we are, the people with the curled hair,
we have problems to solve simple things
no, we don't masturbate,
just curled hair, curled hair, curled hair...
Once upon a time I was a mustached boy,
My parents took me by force to the mentally-ill institution,
I got shots of cocaine and phosphorus,
Once upon a time I was a stinky boy...
Once upon a time I was a stinky boy,
Each stinking I caused was looked like a cloud,
Everyone thought I am Abdul-Rachman,
Once upon a time I was a barking boy...
And the kindergarten teacher used to hit me and
Spit on me...
And the kindergarten teacher told me everyday:
'When you will grow up - you will get lost'...
One hooker and the second hooker had arrived
And my penis didn't grow...
One hooker and the second hooker had arrived
And my penis didn't grow...
Once upon a time I was a wandering boy,
I wasn't educated to read and write, I was educated to spit,
I drew yellow excrement on a page,
Once upon a time I was a wandering boy"
Dudu was on his way down of the stage but the audience wanted him to
keep singing. Dudu agreed and sang:
"I have a milliard curled hairs,
And who the hell am I?
With my curled-hair life
And with my penis that hasn't erected for 4 years...
I am trying to think about that all the time but I can't understand,
This is the way of the curled-hairs.
I have 250 million louses
And who the hell am I?
Between Uzi's messy bed-sheets,
I am trying to have sex with my neighbor,
I am thinking about that but forget about it 2 minutes after,
And this is the way of the curled-hair...
There are 80 million gays,
And who the hell am I?
I am picking my buttock with my friends
And sometimes I find there interesting things,
And a thermometer which was stuck in there for 4 years,
I am thinking about that and screaming afterwards,
And this is the way of the curled-hairs"
Dudu had another song:
"I have curled-hairs
I have curled-hairs
I have curled-hairs
But I don't take showers...
I am rabies infected
I am rabies infected
I am rabies infected
Without foam...
I have foam
I have foam
I have foam,
Without rabies!
So when will I have money to have a haircut?
Eventually, the audience threw condoms over Dudu.